When you don’t have the capacity for each other’s “too much”..

When you don’t have the capacity for each other’s “too much”ness…⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Congratulations: you’re human!⁣ ⁣ We all have our limits, and they’re different from day to day (hell, even moment to moment).⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Recognize them. Honor them. Don’t try to steamroll them. Allow them to expose the pain beneath the surface.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Only when we address the root pain that’s wreaking havoc on the here & now can we make genuine, heartfelt requests and create healthy boundaries of our own…instead of resenting our partner for making requests, setting boundaries, and coming across as cold-hearted assholes.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Of course, there’s a way to lovingly yet firmly communicate boundaries and needs, but sometimes, no matter how kindly we try to share them, they land…well, harshly. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ But the truth is, whenever Ryan’s boundaries and self-care feel like rejection or abandonment, it’s MY opportunity to examine my inner ch!ld’s unmet needs and attachment wounds.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ My triggers are never about anyone else but me. Ever.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ They’re my invitations to notice my neediness and sit with it, without rushing to the first place I can have those needs met. It’s fucking uncomfortable, I’ll tell you that. But in that space, I’ve discovered countless times…it’s BEYOND the acceptance, permission, and love I craved from my father as a ch!ld and I projected onto Ryan as an adult.⁣ What I’m really longing for is my own acceptance. My own permission to be too much. My own love…from adult “me” to the little ch!ld “me.”⁣ ⁣⁣ You see, our needs are not bad or wrong. They point us back to a remembrance of our wholeness. They remind us that YES, we get to take up space, use our voices, and share our hearts.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And that is an indescribably beautiful thing.⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣So despite how it may feel in the moment, your neediness is not the bad guy. It is your gift. Let it be heard, seen, and embraced…⁣and in doing so, you make it possible to access the next powerful level of passion and aliveness. Within yourself AND with another.❤️‍🔥💥 Speaking of which, for this week’s spicy video, check your direct messages. If you’re new to our page and didn’t receive this morning’s DM, comment “spicy, please!” below.💋