Hey friends❤️👋 I wanted to take a moment to share something..

Hey friends❤️👋 I wanted to take a moment to share something personal with all of you. Over the past month, I've been feeling really strange and haven't been able to fully understand why. It's now my third month of sobriety and on antidepressants, and unfortunately, I've been experiencing panic attacks. They seem to be triggered by my dissatisfaction with my own reflection in the mirror. I've gained weight and become less active, which has had a significant impact on my mood and creativity. Hormones are also playing a role, and it feels like I have no control over them. I have been scared that all my efforts towards recovery were in vain. I've had consultations with my online doctors, and everything seems to be on track, but I still find myself feeling sad, crying, and being a bit melancholic despite taking my prescribed medication. As a woman, it's essential for me to see a positive reflection in the mirror, and I can't quite pinpoint why this affects my life so profoundly. I've been trying to cope through therapy, but it's been incredibly challenging. It all started when my friend went back home to her family, and I was left alone without a workout partner. My motivation disappeared, and working out alone just isn't the same as doing it with friends. I guess I miss her more than I thought. The thought of going back to where I started, self-destructing day by day until it all ends, terrifies me. But I'm hopeful that it won't come to that. I'll continue to fight and strive for a normal and happy life. Even if this state lasts for weeks or months, I know there will come a day when I'll be happy again. Perhaps someone out there is going through similar struggles and moments in life. I want you to know that you're not alone, my friend. We might be facing different battles, but we can support each other through our journeys. Thank you all for being a part of my life and for your continuous support. It means the world to me. Let's keep moving forward together. And wanted to share a little incident that happened today. I had a little mishap while riding my scooter due to the negligence of the apartment owner and the scooter's condition. I knew it was broken, but as a girl, I didn't know exactly what was wrong. Turns out, the brakes were faulty, and they were constantly engaged. When I tried to turn downhill, I ended up falling, and the scooter hit my leg. I'm just relieved that nothing is broken, but I do have some gnarly bruises. It's tough to handle all these problems alone, and I'm feeling a bit lonely. On top of that, I even forgot that my birthday is coming up next month ❤️🥹😓