I have a new blog post over at my personal website but I tho..

I have a new blog post over at my personal website but I thought I'd share it here too for those of you less inclined to make the move over there. ;-) There was a time, about 8 years ago and newly sober, that I wondered if it had all been worth it. I was a few years into being divorced and retired from making XXX. I had paid my ex-husband for his half of the rights to the collection of photos and videos that made up SESKA DOT COM because it was (and still is) precious to me and I was in debt. I was wondering if it had all been worth it. Not the ending of my marriage and the work of healing myself afterward. (worth it) Not what I learned about myself and my sexuality via professional exhibitionism. (worth it) But whether what I shared had resonated with anyone beyond jerk-off material. I had no clue if what I had shared and the way I shared it (my sexuality along with the holistic view I have on life) had reached anyone. Then, out of the blue, I received this comment on my blog. *2014/06/15* *So I stumbled across your website after weeks of poking around, reverse-google-image-searching, and scouring the internet to figure out who this gorgeous brunette with the goofy smile was that I had come across in some vintage amateur photosets. I was just looking for more pictures because I’m a guy (and that’s sort of what we do on the internet.)* *Instead of a bunch of porn, I found out that the girl in those pictures is not only uncannily compelling as a model, but also a well-read, well-spoken, sex-positive feminist. I was in no way prepared for that! Life is short and full of people and experiences who will readily let you down, and fail to live up to expectations or fail even just to uphold common decency. Even outside of the realm of adult entertainment, the average person on the internet is too busy trying to present some idealized version of themselves to bother letting any of their imperfect day-to-day humanity show through, and for the most part, it’s because people are too afraid to display any kind of honesty or vulnerability, least of all to a bunch of internet strangers who are free to shun, judge, or shame them with impunity. It’s really nice to run across something, anything, once in a while that makes you take a step back and re-evaluate the level of cynicism that you use to filter your experiences and expectations with.* *I started out looking for some porn tonight, and instead, I’m going to bed now with a genuine smile on my face, because of a bunch of good feelings that don’t originate in my pants. That might not mean a whole lot, and this might be a weirdly sincere, poorly worded-sentiment to leave on a sex blog, but frankly, I don’t give a damn. What I’m trying to say is just that you did that, and I think that’s just fantastic. Thank you.* Please comment even when you only have an inkling to do so. It matters. Words matter. You matter. And so do I.