evignehauntings

Rant: (you can skip this) I’ve been very productive these pa..

Added 2020-11-18 23:11:10 +0000 UTC

Rant: (you can skip this) I’ve been very productive these past few days. Got myself a storage unit to store my things. I’m just still really struggling with my sleep disorder. I am medically diagnosed with ADHD and have medication for it. I have not yet been diagnosed for Narcolepsy. Why? Because in my state, covid has shut down the sleep study labs. My ADHD meds can help with narcolepsy but I don’t take the medications much. I hate how it burns my brain out and makes me feel sad. I only take the adhd meds for work once a week maybe. I am permitted to take it twice a day but I can’t. I’m very afraid of what it might do and damage my brain. So I don’t take them much. I know I have narcolepsy because of the side affects that have by far ruined a mass majority of my happiness if not sanity. I don’t collapse and faint. Everyone is different. But even if I was diagnosed medically? It doesn’t change anything. I’d be prescribed the same meds and it would probably deter my chances of future employment.

I’m constantly sleeping or needing a nap. I black out on my way home to work often on the train. I black out constantly. I can’t get anything done. I can’t stay awake for more than 6 hours at a time. I hate feeling like I could be so much more successful as a person if I didn’t have this sleep disorder. The only energy drink that works is the “bang” and its gross as hell. It gives me stomach acid and makes me want to throw up. Coffee is NOT strong enough. And when I sleep for 16 hours or more at a time? I loose weight and get sick. So forgive me if I seem out of it sometimes. I wanted to rant but I wanted to rant to people who I felt genuinely cared about me.

(Anyways: yes I’ll be posting more content tonight)