Clip title: ***Making My Slave Pamper My Feet*** One of the..

Clip title: ***Making My Slave Pamper My Feet*** One of the integral things most subs don't know about serving Dommes in a lifestyle setting is that it takes *a lot* of time and physical/cognitive/emotional energy to control and dominate a sub. Think about all the rules and protocols we need to create and enforce to keep a D/s household running smoothly. It's like being an employer who a) not only needs to decide what the rules and protocols need to be, but also b) needs to train (oft inexperienced) recruits and c) keep them in line for the entire duration of their employment. Even when subs come experienced, they need to be adjusted or calibrated to a Domme's preference. Adding a layer unique to lifestyle domination, having a live-in sub (even on a part-time basis) means the energy she needs to exert is quite constant. This is particularly the case when she comes across a sub who is needy or whose interests depart from her own. Unfortunately, some of these qualities are difficult to screen in the front-end. Most subs are very insistent in that their kink is pleasing their goddess, in any way she chooses. That sounds familiar, doesn't it? Because that's probably what you think your own kink is. But what if I told you that most days, what she wants is for you to be quiet, invisible, and devoted to mundane tasks like admin work or cleaning? That she actually doesn't want to pay too much attention to you? That you're not going to eat her garbage or lick her feet or get pegged with any real consistency? The reality of lifestyle domination is that your job is to service her - she's not here to service your kinks. This is not to say that her kinks won't align with yours and there won't ever be some kinky play, but it is important to bear in mind that if you find yourself with the opportunity to serve a Domme in the more intimate setting of her daily life, it is not going to be packed with play. And the different mechanisms of control she uses for you are likely to have longevity that don't require constant attention from her. For example, I keep my subs in chastity, I require they're plugged in my presence, I dictate their diets and the exercise regimes. None of these things really require my constant input and attention. They are baseline expectations that a sub is expected to adhere to, and I devise ways to monitor these protocols without me needing to actually check daily. So what ends up happening when a sub's expectations of lifestyle domination don't fit reality is they a) start evading responsibilities, b) try to elicit more attention from her with bratty behavior, or c) both. I notice when a sub is *very* quick to jump in a car to drive my beautiful friends and I to dinner, yet lags when I tell him to fix my printer or call around to find me a new dentist. I notice when a sub becomes increasingly annoying as a means to try to elicit kinky punishment. The thing is that these behaviours end up working the exact opposite way a sub intends. In not expeditiously completing the mundane tasks in my life, I either have to exert energy to remind him, or I end up doing them myself. In being bratty and annoying, he's further depleting my energy and pushing me to a point of disinterest. On a more conceptual level, this is also a problem of topping from the bottom - a problem of a sub trying to control the Domme. Experienced Dommes are profoundly aware of power dynamics, and we are highly sensitive to shifts that should not be occurring. When I sense a sub is topping from the bottom, my default solution is to get rid of the sub. Since there are hundreds of subs nearby ready to be my best bitch, and one of me, this is a very easy solution. Let me turn this dialogue from what-not-to-do in lifestyle domination to the more productive angle of what-should-you-do in lifestyle domination. I want to preface this with a very important fact: *Dommes don't feel like being explicitly dominant 24/7*. In reality, the power of dominance is actually a quiet one, a shared understanding between a Domme and sub of who is in charge even if she's not doing anything visible to prove it. That said, you can play an integral role in nurturing her outwardly dominant side. If there is one thing you need to keep at the forefront of your mind is that with **less stress and more relaxation comes with more energy to dedicate to you**. If I have to chase a sub to get him to do mundane tasks or remind him to stop being bratty then I'm basically just parenting, not being served. If a sub is diligent and attentive, anticipates my needs, helps me build a life that maximizes relaxation and mitigates stress, then I'm not only going to bring him much closer, but I'm going to have *way* more interest and energy to keep him subjugated. This sub in this clip is a perfect example of this. Before he comes over, this sub always asks me if he can bring me anything. He often surprises me with gifts/money. He's always on time, and opens his schedule to be available to me so I don't have to consider scheduling difficulties. When I cancel last minute, he doesn't complain or beg to come over anyways; he thanks me and tells me he is available anytime. When he is over he is quiet, he cleans in silence while I work. He doesn't interrupt me to ask if he can lick my feet or eat my garbage or be spat on. If I send him away after a day of cleaning but no direct domination, he'd thank me for the opportunity for letting him serve me this way. Consequently, I bring subs like this back on a routine basis. And because they *add* to my life and not detract from it, I direct my attention to them. I let this sub give me a foot bath, which is a reward for any sub with a foot fetish and also something I really enjoy from a pampering perspective. And because I was so relaxed from the quiet afternoon, I felt open to play with him, to remind him he is a pussy free loser, and degrade him further by making him drink my bathwater. If you've seen any of these clips, you'll know this escalates to darker play. None of that would've come to fruition if he had shown up and annoyed me. So again, in the hybridized words of JFK and myself, *ask not what your Domme can do for you, but what you can do for your Domme*.