I keep trying to keep my struggles to myself and hope that I..
Added 2023-05-09 04:29:27 +0000 UTCI keep trying to keep my struggles to myself and hope that I’ll be able to come back to making content like nothing ever happened and just pick up where I left of. I’ve been dealing with health issues for years and fought through them while creating until it was too much for me to be able to present myself regularly for you guys. I’ve been trying endlessly to find solutions, got / seen so many doctors and professionals. I’ve spent so much money. Tried so many at home, DIY, and alternative options. I’m just so sick and tired. I miss you guys so damn much. I’m usually really strong and positive but at this point i’m just crying of my own self pity. So sad. I’m so sorry. I wish it was different. I wish I could go through with my promises. I’m sorry i let you down. I feel like everything I’ve done for years has been so that I can come back to you. It’s been long enough now that i really just have to let you guys know. I can’t just keep waiting for a time where I can pretend like this never happened. I have to realize it might be a while even still for things to be the way they were. 💧 💧 💧 On a more positive note, I believe I am finally on the right medicine. It takes a toll on my body and it’s been 1.5 out of 3.5 months of the treatment. When improvement was slow I felt freaked out and discouraged and have been trying a bunch of new stuff. All of this put together, i believe is making a difference. I’m just running out of patience. I just wanna run back to you guys so badly. I always have. I’m seeing a new doctor soon as well and I’ve written up a whole report with pictures and information about each stage of this disease I have. I’m SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. I believe in me! I believe in us!! While I’m at it… the condition I’m taking medication for which I’ve referenced is only one piece of the puzzle. Right now though, that piece is stressing me.
