Hi guys. I feel like telling yall why I sometimes dont post ..

Hi guys. I feel like telling yall why I sometimes dont post that much or often. First of all I have a borderline personality disorder which is tough enough already. But my housing situation is really REALLY bad. My mistake was moving in here when the whole corona thing was going wild. Which means I didnt notice the music bar under my apartment. And I also didnt pay attention to the school next to me. The music bar was closed cause of corona, and same with the school. Now there is screaming kids from 7 in the morning till 3-4 in the afternoon (love to them tho ❤️) and then there is the music bar under me full of LOUD teenagers going absolut crazy haha. First it was friday and saturday, which is fine. But now its also thursday, sometimes wednesday as well and one day a freaking tuesday. If they just stayed inside it wouldnt bother me, but they stand outside of my window the whole time (some walking in, then new people walking out). They are drxnk as fvck, so theyre screaming and yelling sooo much. Breaking glass bottles, throwing a trashcan into our car once, puking and peeing EVERYWHERE. I even had to call the police once, because some dudes were seriuosly fighting against ONE other dude. Like how weak are you as a whole as gruop to beat up ONE dude? Anyways the noise stops around 2 or 3 in the night (I think thats when they close down there). And as if all this wasnt enough, there is now a huge construction site in front of our apartment with a road between us. These guys like to start working from 5:30 in the morning to 6 in the evening. Poor men honestly. It makes so much noise the whole day. Im SO tired. I have always had trouble with sleep, but all this makes it almost impossible for me to get proper sleep. And I just wanna say; yes, this is my own fault. I should have never moved in here. I should have payed attention to the surroundings. But I didnt and im sad about that every damn day. Something I didnt know tho, was how BAD some of the neighbors are. I cant stand them. They truly are some shitty people. (Thats a longer story, but plays a big role in why I hate it here) Cause of lak of sleep I got really sick, went to the doctors and all that. So its been tough. My mental illnesses are getting worse and worse and im having the worst thoughts on a daily basis. I dont know if its aloud to write these thoughts on this platform. But thoughts about how I dont wanna be on the earth and stuff like that, you know? And obviously I wanna move, but as you guys probably know, the prices of everything is so high at the moment. Everytime I put money in my savings, I get a new 500-600$ bill. Its SO exhausting. So im TRULY gratefull for all the tips and I get SO happy everytime you buy something. THANK YOU! ❤️ But yeah, thats why I sometimes dont post much. Cause I need to be in the right mood to do this job, you feel me? Haha Thanks for reading.