firstratesoul

First and foremost, I want to thank you all for the support ..

Added 2023-07-10 22:28:23 +0000 UTC

First and foremost, I want to thank you all for the support you’ve shown me since I started this OF journey with my ex in December of 12/21. I apologize for the inconsistencies in my ability to produce and post content as of late. I am beyond depressed. I’m literally trying to find the will to live each morning I wake up. As an extremely empathetic woman who has been through hardships most couldn’t fathom… I am tired. I am tired of just surviving. Of not having enough to live on. Of having to pick myself up over and over again when people mess with my emotions and mind. I have been working so hard since I was 15. People continue coming for my livelihood and needing to re-start from scratch. I have been manipulated, ridiculed, and made to be just a sexual fetish… forgetting I’m a whole human. Unfortunately, I have a day job, and making content is the last thing I want to do, although without selling it, I can’t afford to live. I do not make enough with both incomes together and my growth keeps being shut down. Being sick and having health issues makes it worse. I’m defeated y’all. You can be the most self aware, unintentionally strong, healed, confidant woman… and people can still look at you and try to figure out how to break you. I’m tired of trying. I genuinely have no desire to experience this human existence anymore. I thought I was going to be able to come back and just pick myself up like I always do, but I don’t have the strength to do it anymore. I’m taking a break. I’m not sure if I’ll come back. I feel defeated, numb, a shell of a person. I don’t have the mental capacity to respond to individual messages right now. Thank you all again for the love…