Oops, I accidentally fucked up my life a lil bit and now idk..
Added 2021-11-03 15:50:04 +0000 UTCOops, I accidentally fucked up my life a lil bit and now idk what to do. I’ve been going sober from x*ns for about 4-5 days now and I feel like I’m losing my shit. I feel like I’m not in control right now of my situation while I’m going through this time. I feel insecure in my job. I thought this wouldn’t happen again. I’m so incredibly low and out of my comfort zone. I was only taking them again since October bc it’s a trauma anniversary time frame, and I felt lost and anxious the entire month. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, to be told I AM inherently fucked. Only to realize by subsidizing those feelings, falling back into complacency with drug use was the other shoe to drop. Fuck. Going off everything, x*ns, weed, drinking cold Turkey??? Not fun. This experience is so humbling and I’m grateful for the friends I have in my life right now. They have been so helpful and supportive and open with me. My honey especially. He knows how lost and directionless I could feel right now, but we are both working together to help me feel like “yes, even though I know I feel so shitty and hopeless rn, I feel like this because I recognized a problem within myself and I am trying to heal it. That’s why I’m going through this, so it is going to be worth it afterwards” Growing pains, Yall. It’ll be ok though. I am shedding whatever no longer fits my new lifestyle.
