Hi babes🙈… as we approach this new year and it hits another ..

Hi babes🙈… as we approach this new year and it hits another year of ME being online sharing my all for you, I’ve been left thinking and feeling some new emotions with myself.  Now, please do NOT let this type confuse you.  MY PAGE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE. Just YOU being behind this wall and maybe reading this message + the consistent extra loving (from some🧠) alone has made all this craziness feel a little bit less and the reason “post” is clicked on any platform… Maybe right now and with the eyes I have this could be regretful of me and maybe I’m going to “just kidding” in an hour but as I’m typing and feeling this for another week. I think I need an official break. I’m sorry for another long type but I feel you deserve and I owe you since I answer each of you to explain where my heads at after allowing me to have your time and experience/know you’re brain AS MUCH as we have together.

Soo yes☹️ I need some time to be able to think what I want / should do with myself and now life because I don’t think onlyfans is going to work out for me if it’s been ALL THIS TIME. ://///…. I’m not just having a bad month on here and giving up and running away It’s because I’m stressing and have stressed myself out too much and also now feeling negative again with myself at the same time that it’s getting harder and harder to spend so much time on here (as u might of seen/read my story’s becoming more negative everywhere) and that’s not fair to you. I hope I have fully caught some of your interests because I will continue to be sharing, replying and checking this.

Also don’t get confused. You are and always will be my main priority when sharing online. In hopes of this all picking up/ working out for me I will continue to post on ALL MY SOCIAL PLATFORMS but as you might think it’s mean and rude of me. I can’t afford to spend this much time/hours/days/nights on here and in my brain to not feel fully stable. I knew making this account and showing myself was going to be hard, but I think I’m just a little brainwashed and all my alone time has me forgetting about my real life, wants and needs.

Lastly, for those who always think i have something to hide or that i am not staying authentic to myself .. i slightly get it but i mainly get that these moments don’t look good on myself (so I figured I’d address it here too) but im real and yeah… pretty for a boy😭 but a REAL living person. Took 4 years now to grow my hair out, get half a syringe of lip filler, rhinoplasty nose job and good eats / taking care of my body + good poses, lighting and angles. Try and think I’m like someone you are in a talking/dating stage with. I have boundaries especially high ones being newer to giving up myself online and honestly very little sexual experience. so im sorry I haven’t been showing enough in my videos or as frequently to satisfy you but i do this all myself and it has only been that way so with every share of mine I felt they were fair at the point i am at as a “content creator”. It also started to bother me thinking i could be talking to the persons who post my shares for free so it just all round felt safer when giving up myself for my brain and well being to distract you with what I looked at as my bests out of many takes set posts on my wall for the set price and then giving back extras and things I am shy about to tips. which I now realize is another thing I did incorrectly, unfairly and a reason that is leaving me so stuck. I have options to make this best for us and not an end I just have to feel good and take a step back… I would be amazed if you even cared enough to read to this point and I just wanted to say if we have talked in full. i mean/meant everything and really would feel regret never hearing from you again, but i get it. I get you. I hope you get and can try and get me.

Thank you

Ashton @xoxald