Chad showed up at my place as I was about to leave to see Eevee at the sober Kava bar.
“Cheating on me again?”
I finished drawing my cat eye style eyeliner, put the cap back on the pen and said nothing.
“You know, you’ve been cheating on me for 5 yrs now.”
I grabbed my car keys and mini backpack and left in a hurry.
Without looking at him, I commented,
“You haven’t taken me on a date in 5 yrs. How am I cheating if we’re not even dating?”
I left dramatically but not slam the door dramatically because I live in a townhouse where my neighbor is a super cop and I have enough on my plate.
I took the directions Eevee gave me to a hidden Kava bar in Davie. It was adorably posh and nicer than I was expecting. I ordered something the gentle server recommended and sat in the upcycled van inside of the bar.
We had some get to know each other conversations and some deeper conversations I wasn’t expecting.
Friendship is nice.
He actually thanked me for some of the work I do especially for when I’ve highlighted the plight of Cubans. Turns out he’s half Cuban. He shared what his grandfather in Cuba went through and continues to go through. I listened intently. I told him ur welcome and that it’s stuff I enjoy doing and feel passionate about so the thank you isn’t necessary bc it’s for me, too. I hope that was a proper response. I don’t always know.
This was also actually the first time anyone in real life has commended me about the secret work I do. It was kinda weird for me because my online life is completely different from real life. I have never had any of it cross over to real life. Nobody in my real real life knows what I do online.
I know less than 1 0 people in real life and usually only speak to 2 people a month including Chad. The occasional event brings me out once or twice a year. My life is simpler this way. It’s something I chose for my safety and comfort.
I enjoyed our conversations and the Kava drinkk I had. He told me his friend works here and I promised I’d promote the local business. I like to do stuff like that.
He introduced me to all his friends at the bar. He shared his plights. I shared mine. We can share more joys next time. There’s supposed to be some Diablo playing at the Kava bar soon.
He mentioned my old best friend I left in the past. It’s been so long I actually forgot about her until he brought her up. I talked about her positively and shared the truth about me and Pocket Jen. I valued and respected her immensely and took responsibility for what I did. If she ever wanted or needed anything from me I would give it to her. It was nice to hear that she was happy and doing well in life.
He vapes nicotine and said he’s quitting. He mentioned he’s done all sorts of stuff in life. Even the stuff that starts with C. He said nicotine is harder to quit than the stuff that starts with C. That was thought provoking.
We agreed this stuff shouldn’t be legal.
Chad sits in the back of my mind.
I know it’s not his fault he’s add.. icted to nicotine. Eevee learned it from his mom. Just like Chad did. I told him to quit. He said he’s trying. I told him I believe in him. To tell himself it’s easy. I told him he’s important and that I want to see him live forever.
He shared stories and pictures of his squirrel and rescuedoggo. We unsuccessfully looked for the bar cat. Maybe next time. (Misspelled bc it’s a b.anned word 😅)
We played Darts. I went home.
Chad cleaned half my house and psssedd out on my couch.
Tomorrow, I have lectures to listen to and try to say less on onlyfans. I’ll try to zzz again. I have that condition where it takes forever to zzz.
He didn’t say sorry but he did clean my house. I must give him credit for that. He didnt bring an energy drinkk this time. He didn’t smell like an ash tray. I’ll try again tomorrow to take cosplay photos. After secret work and work work.
I will post more pics tomorrow and stream cuz I was very personal tonight.
Eevee has been very sweet and kind. He offered to take me to food and or kava. He also offered to help me around the house. I’m going to connect with my friend eevee for kava then take more photos tonight. If I have any more friends in South Florida or Florida, let me know !
I was having an off day butting heads with someone who wouldn’t make a pizza with me for “anniversary” before we clean my place. I love Italian food and knew he couldn’t afford to take me anywhere as a full time student.
I sought out and brought home premade, rolled out dough from market and the freshest Italian (canned) ingredients and toppings.
10 minute prep time if we rushed. He wouldn’t do it with me.
We fought for an hour. AN HOUR. An hour we could have spent making an Italian pizza. I asked him to leave cuz I couldn’t handle it. If I didn’t eat all day and ask for you to spend 10 minutes with me to make a pizza and pop it in the oven for our anniversary... I don’t feel like I was asking for a lot.
It was too much for Chad.
He refused to make a pizza with me. 🤷♀️
People in chat were so nice to me, let me get some things off my chest and I felt loads better ! ☺️ Chad told me to go make friends and ask other people for help so he can do homework. So, I am.
He hates spending time with me.
I’m miserable with him.
I just don’t care anymore.
There are bigger things going on in the world draining me. I don’t need this on top of it. He only wanted to help clean with me but got mad that I wanted us to cook and eat together first….
He didn’t care that I didn’t get to eat all day and was working.
He acts like I do nothing.
He’s always nursing cigarettes and energy drinks so he’s never hungry until the end of 2 days.
I can’t handle it so I’m not. 🤷♀️ You wanna choose cigarettes over dinner with me; then dai with your cigarettes.
I’m not the bad guy for trying to make sure you eat more than beef jerky, energy drinks and cigarettes.
Someone who cares would make sure I’ve eaten and wouldn’t start problems over making a pizza with me and helping with some work/ housework.
I just don’t care anymore.
I’m going to spend time with my fans.
Blocked him again. I’m sick of the fighting, resentment and feeling constantly strezzed. I have to pull teeth to get b/g content. I can’t live like this anymore. My life is 1000 times harder than it needs to be with him in it.
Idk I just don’t think making a pizza with me and making sure we both eat is somehow villainous on my part. If i need help around the house running this business, then I need help. I’m literally trying to manage a wild 9 social media accounts right now and he acts like I do nothing while he’s the one without a job.
No matter how much I help him or give him he keeps painting me as the bad guy. I can’t do this crazy schitt anymore.
You’ve had enough chances. I don’t want to talk about you anymore. No body is buying my content with you because they see how miserable I am with you. Nobody wants to hear about you anymore. I shouldn’t end up writing essays on onlyfans about you. I need you gone.
There is something seriously wrong with you and you need more help than I could ever give you. One day you will look back and wish you were better to me.
Some long time connections happen to be online and offered. I’m very happy to enjoy some friendships. I love u, eevee! Who apparently has been following me for like 9 yrs. 😆 We’re gonna hang out !
I look forward to a cozy and clean kitchen with a dishwasher the most. 😊 Still deciding colors. I’ve always wanted a kitchen with sage green cabinets, to be honest.
I wrote this in 2 minutes in the car. (At the Red lights.) Came to me like magic and thought it was cute so I wanted to share.
If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll remember how rough my beginnings were. I thought about going for the marble look for the flooring but decided to go for a clean, serene white like a blank slate. I’m very happy to clear the multitude of textures from my view. The bathroom tile has been installed and makes me smile. 😊 🤍 🏰
I’m turning up the heat on content cuz I want to make enough to help my new friend. She wants to get off the streets and save enough to get a camper van and her teeth fixed. I can afford to get her a teeth cleaning for now so that’s next on the to do list if Nova university can’t help. (They have a really nice dental school). I’m taking pictures of her teeth next time we hang out to email to the university.
I told her I’m just a social media manager and she doesn’t know what I do, yet. We’re really compatible as friends and I’m really glad I came across her during my errands during Mid Autumn festival.
It’s also Hispanic Heritage month! I’m going to be taking care of her some, taking her to museums and spending some time with her.
I’m not apologizing for being honest and having some standards. I’d rather let you guys know the key to my heart and so you don’t scare me away.
If you want to hang out at an anime or comic convention and I remember you as the guy that makes me uncomfortable… I probably will not sit at a panel with you. I tell you to help you cuz most creators here feel the same way.
I’m about to hook up with one of my OG followers (third one) and he’s never made me feel uncomfortable. He understands you get what I give you and he says he’ll take what he can get which makes me feel safe and comfortable. 😊
