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Why did princess peach gag? Because Mario came down the wron..

Why did princess peach gag? Because Mario came down the wrong pipe! Happy **National Peach Cobbler Day** 🍑

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90% of women like men in pink tshirts. But Ironically, 90% o..

90% of women like men in pink tshirts. But Ironically, 90% of men in pink t-shirts don't like women - Happy **International Day of Pink**

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I went to the library today and asked where I could find boo..

I went to the library today and asked where I could find books on greases, oils and lubricants. The librarian suggested I try the non-friction section- Happy National Library Workers Day!

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Winged horses are illegal in most states.... But in Alabama,..

Winged horses are illegal in most states.... But in Alabama, it's totally fine to Pegasis 🤭 Happy National *(step)* Siblings Day 😉

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I'm trying to give up innuendos for Lent- but its so *Long* ..

I'm trying to give up innuendos for Lent- but its so *Long* and its going to be so *Hard*

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**Hoppy Easter!** Bunny Buttplug + Rabbit Vibe = one happy b..

**Hoppy Easter!** Bunny Buttplug + Rabbit Vibe = one happy bunny! 💦 Check your DMs for ***Playboy Bunny Creamy Cum*** *(2017)* - *(Missed it? Tip $69 on this post so I can send it to you too!)*

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Hold it firmly in your hand, put it in your mouth, lick it, ..

Hold it firmly in your hand, put it in your mouth, lick it, straighten it, and put it in the hole Man, threading a needle is difficult work.

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‌‌Our w‌‌hole f‌‌amily i‌‌s r‌‌eally w‌‌orried a‌‌bout m‌‌y ..

‌‌Our w‌‌hole f‌‌amily i‌‌s r‌‌eally w‌‌orried a‌‌bout m‌‌y g‌‌randfather’s V‌‌iagra a‌‌ddiction. But Grandma i‌‌s t‌‌aking i‌‌t the hardest-

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Did you hear about the three holes in the ground? Well, well..

Did you hear about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well…. Happy Holy Saturday!

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You saw that it was National Beaver Day right? Check those D..

You saw that it was National Beaver Day right? Check those DMs to make your Good Friday **Great**

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How is it possible for anyone to wear Doc Martens on both fe..

How is it possible for anyone to wear Doc Martens on both feet? isn't that a pairodocs?

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It's said that guys with big feet have big dicks, and guys w..

It's said that guys with big feet have big dicks, and guys with big cars have small dicks, Now I understand why so many people are afraid of clowns!

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To celebrate Maundy Thursday, Ive decided to release a foot ..

To celebrate Maundy Thursday, Ive decided to release a foot washing bundle! We do a little bit of blasphemy 😉 (Missed it? Tip $61 on this post so I can send it to you too!)

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There are some seriously spicy pictures hitting your DMs pre..

There are some seriously spicy pictures hitting your DMs pretty quickly- You do not want to miss these!

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What's a Canadian's favourite vitamin? Eh!

What's a Canadian's favourite vitamin? Eh!

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I have found that I have been happier since I switched from ..

I have found that I have been happier since I switched from coffee to orange juice. My Dr. explained that it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars but I really think it’s the vodka.

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Why don't snakes like Vitamin C? Because it's an anti-hissta..

Why don't snakes like Vitamin C? Because it's an anti-hisstamine! **Happy National Vitamin C Day!**

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I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a screwd..

I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a screwdriver. Turned a few heads.

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I ended up in a party full of World Health Organisation medi..

I ended up in a party full of World Health Organisation medics. Apparently I'd gone to the wrong Doctor WHO convention.

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A premature ejaculator went to a dinner party. He didn't kno..

A premature ejaculator went to a dinner party. He didn't know what to wear, so he just came in his pants! **Happy World Party Day!**

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Oops - Literally not a single picture was acceptable to put ..

Oops - Literally not a single picture was acceptable to put on the feed today 🙈 it all went to your DMs! 🥵

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Where do your eyes go first? 👀

Where do your eyes go first? 👀

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Which animal loves April Fools' Day the most? *A silly goos..

Which animal loves April Fools' Day the most? *A silly goose!* 🤓

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Lena. Lena who? Lena little close..

Knock, knock. Who's there? Lena. Lena who? Lena little closer, and I'll tell you another April Fools' joke.

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This bikini leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination-

This bikini leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination-

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Fishnet Bodysuit anyone? 😈 Just wait until you see your DM's..

Fishnet Bodysuit anyone? 😈 Just wait until you see your DM's 🥵

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These titties are *busting* out of this top! 👀

These titties are *busting* out of this top! 👀

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Oh, you're definitely going to want to scroll through to the..

Oh, you're definitely going to want to scroll through to the last one ❤️ *(and then check your DMs for the ones that come next)*

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Dont worry- the unobstructed version is coming to your DMs 💙

Dont worry- the unobstructed version is coming to your DMs 💙

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Today is My Day! Its Purple Day! No really, look it up! 💜

Today is My Day! Its Purple Day! No really, look it up! 💜

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