Yesterday, the custodian pulled me aside as I was leaving the office and asked me to smoke a lil' with her. She’s smokin hot, but I had to say no because I refuse to be around *high-maintenance people* ;)
2023-10-02 18:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
What's the difference between a Vegan and a Vegetarian? *One of them won't swallow.*
2023-10-01 18:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
How can you tell a girl ghost from a boy ghost? Boooooooobs & Booooooooty!
2023-09-30 18:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostGood morning! 💜 I'm heading out of town with some friends- so **I Won't Be Online** for a Few Days! DMs & Feed posts are scheduled as usual *(Though on a new schedule starting Oct 1st)* Any Videos Tipped for via Campaign Contributions will be sent out when I return on OCTOBER 4th! See ya! 💋
2023-09-30 12:29:04 +0000 UTC View Post🔔 **MAKE SURE YOU'RE OPENING THE DMS** 🔔 😈 ***THATS WHERE THE GOOD STUFF GOES!*** 😈
2023-09-29 20:05:04 +0000 UTC View Post
I like my men how I like my coffee... *Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat* 🥵
2023-09-29 18:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
My neighbour is pretty mad at his wife for sunbathing completely nude- Personally, *I'm on the fence* 👀
2023-09-28 18:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
If time traveling was common, what historic event would be a tourist magnet? The birth of Jesus- *All the hotels in the area would be fully booked!*
2023-09-27 18:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post
I tried making pancakes... But I ended up with flapjacks instead. *I guess I used too much synonym*
2023-09-26 18:00:20 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m making a comic book about a superhero toilet. *Billionaire bidet, crime fighter by night.*
2023-09-25 18:00:20 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you call it when a physician corrects your punctuation? *A medically induced comma.*
2023-09-24 18:00:21 +0000 UTC View Post
I have a rampant rabbit sex toy. It's not my favourite, but it's up there... 😉
2023-09-23 18:00:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Why do elephants have four feet? *Because eight inches isn't enough.*
2023-09-22 18:00:44 +0000 UTC View Post
The path to inner peace begins with just 3 words- Not my problem 😌
2023-09-21 18:00:30 +0000 UTC View Post
Queso is the perfect food for socialists.... 'cause everybody chips in!
2023-09-20 18:00:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Famed pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read would board ships with their tits out to distract and intimidate enemy sailors. *It had no effect on their own crew because pirates only care about booty!*
2023-09-19 18:00:18 +0000 UTC View Post
A co-worker is in the hospital after eating a giant bacon cheeseburger- It was mine. 💪😠
2023-09-18 18:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
You should throw a surprise bukkaky-party for your wife… She’ll be so excited everyone came! Just wait till you see her face!
2023-09-17 18:00:17 +0000 UTC View Post
What is it called when Batman gets an erection? *The Dark Knight Rises*
2023-09-16 18:00:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Why the fuck does pornhub even have a share to google+ button..? I don't want anyone to know I have a google+ account...
2023-09-15 18:00:24 +0000 UTC View Post
Where to Canadian alcoholics go to sober up? Eh Eh
2023-09-14 18:00:27 +0000 UTC View Post
My life is like a box of chocolates- *Full of nuts!*
2023-09-13 18:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
I like my sex life like how I like my video games- **MMORPG** 😜
2023-09-12 18:00:18 +0000 UTC View Post
If I bring you breakfast in bed, just say, "Thanks." Not "Who are you?" and "How did you get in my apartment?!"
2023-09-11 18:00:20 +0000 UTC View Post
If your grandparents covered their furniture in plastic- it was because your grandmother was a squirter. 💦
2023-09-10 18:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
The guy who invented Sudoku actually really hated numbers- He just wanted to put them in their place. 😈
2023-09-09 18:00:18 +0000 UTC View Post
I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation... I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place! Haha I'm just kidding- Picard is Daddy! I will always choose Picard 😍
2023-09-08 18:00:21 +0000 UTC View Post
The submarine sandwich shop by my work had moved to a new location and was replaced with an adult sex shop. I didn't realize it until one day I walked in and asked for a 12-inch salami on an Italian.
2023-09-07 18:00:25 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m hosting a charity for men struggling to ejaculate- If you can’t come let me know
2023-09-05 18:01:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Most people enjoy a day off on Labour Day- except for fire… Fireworks on Labour Day 💥
2023-09-04 18:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post