A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman “they must have the same landlord I do."
2023-05-07 13:02:29 +0000 UTC
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I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough. I've handed in my too weak notice-
2023-05-06 13:04:36 +0000 UTC
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I’ve been told my Jedi tricks will blow your mind 😵💫
*(scroll for clip)*
2023-05-05 19:03:19 +0000 UTC
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What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets?… Wookieeleaks!
**Happy StarWars Day!** 🤓
2023-05-04 19:03:55 +0000 UTC
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Why do ghosts hate the rain?
*It dampens their spirits.*
Something else is getting dampened in your DMs 💦
2023-05-03 19:05:58 +0000 UTC
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My sibling became severely depressed when he found out he was adopted- I can't relate
2023-05-02 19:07:05 +0000 UTC
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Just tried to de-snow my car with a loyalty card I only managed to get 10% off
2023-05-01 13:05:25 +0000 UTC
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Why’d the red neck decide not get his hair cut? Because he had to mull it over.
2023-05-01 01:01:37 +0000 UTC
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If you have a smelly room I would recommend getting a candle. It just makes scents.
2023-04-30 01:02:07 +0000 UTC
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How many billionaires does it take to create a superhero? Three. Two to die and one to never get over it.
2023-04-29 01:02:43 +0000 UTC
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Are you McDonalds? 'Cause you're going straight to my thighs.
2023-04-28 01:02:20 +0000 UTC
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Do you know why they call it a pretzel? Because it’s knot bread
2023-04-27 01:01:46 +0000 UTC
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Did you hear that William Shatner’s lingerie company went out of business? Turns out no one wanted to buy underwear from a place called Shatner Panties-
2023-04-26 01:01:49 +0000 UTC
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I was masturbating when I heard some one scream "Help!". So I came as fast as I could.
2023-04-25 01:01:57 +0000 UTC
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What cake can love anyone? A pan cake
2023-04-24 01:01:39 +0000 UTC
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What happened to the leaf when he was caught cheating during the Earth Day quiz? He was disqua-leaf-ied.
2023-04-23 01:01:52 +0000 UTC
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I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea. I am going to call it Boba Fetish.
2023-04-22 04:02:43 +0000 UTC
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If you replace your morning coffee with green tea ..... You can lose up to 87% of what little joy you have left in your life.
2023-04-22 01:02:13 +0000 UTC
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What is the difference between an ignorant customer and an apathetic customer? Don’t know and don’t care.
2023-04-21 01:02:36 +0000 UTC
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I enjoy doing bicycle tricks. It's a wheelie good time.
2023-04-20 01:01:37 +0000 UTC
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Why did the guy with a foot fetish want to lose? He loves defeat.
2023-04-19 04:03:31 +0000 UTC
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why do cows have hooves instead of feet.. Because they lac-tose!
2023-04-19 01:03:19 +0000 UTC
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw it and two to listen to him bragging.
2023-04-18 04:03:40 +0000 UTC
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What do you call a girl that likes small dicks? Hopefully your girlfriend!
2023-04-18 01:04:01 +0000 UTC
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A man walks into a library, goes to the librarian, and says "I'm looking for a book called 'Pavlov's Dog and Schrödinger's Cat".
The librarian says "That rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's there or not".
2023-04-17 04:02:34 +0000 UTC
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Guy goes in to the library and asks the librarian for books on Erectile Dyfunction... She types away on her keyboard then says "Its not coming up" "Yep!" he says "Thats the one!"
Happy **National Librarian Day**
2023-04-17 01:02:06 +0000 UTC
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When should you love thy neighbour? When your spouse is away on business!
Happy **Husband Appreciation Day** 😆
2023-04-16 04:03:29 +0000 UTC
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Its also ***Titanic Remembrance Day*** but none of those jokes are funny anymore, they're so outdated - That ship sailed a long time ago 🚢
2023-04-16 01:03:30 +0000 UTC
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What happens when the queen of hearts blows the king- he gets off with her head!
2023-04-15 04:04:38 +0000 UTC
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Oral Sex- Using Teleknesis... Mind Blowing!
2023-04-15 01:13:44 +0000 UTC
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