Stream started at 08/09/2022 04:56 am
Stream started at 08/09/2022 04:56 am
2022-08-09 05:35:44 +0000 UTC View Post
missbella activity
Boooooooooo!!!! Internet outage. If it returns within 10 min..
Boooooooooo!!!! Internet outage. If it returns within 10 min I will go back if not good night guys :( but remember we are starting ASMR week tomorrow ❤ It will be a good one.
2022-08-08 04:19:41 +0000 UTC View PostHi guys!! How is your Saturday going? I woke up and saw the..
Hi guys!! How is your Saturday going? I woke up and saw the sky like this.. do you see the Yin Yang? (: The dark cloud covering the sun looked like a huge ominous cloak eating up the little bit of clear skies...I observed it for a bit and for a second I thought it looked like darkness overcoming light. But then I realized the skies behind it were infinite 🤍 don't mind me I'm high on nyquill! I'm thinking about going live on twitch just to play games and maybe use voice (but no video). I feel and look very sickly but bored. Could definitely play a game or two to pass time.
2022-08-06 22:39:29 +0000 UTC View Post***CAMGIRL MEMOIR - BOUNDARIES 5/5*** Sometime that week I ..
***CAMGIRL MEMOIR - BOUNDARIES 5/5***
Sometime that week I got home from work only to find the kitchen covered in flowers. Every time he hurt me he would do this. Not a sincere apology request, but a flower bouquet. And this time there was even a big box of chocolate accompanying it.
I smelled the colorful flowers and the thought of crushing all the petals one by one crossed my mind. But instead, I took the plastic wrap out and placed them in a nice vase with fresh water and plant food. The little note took me by surprise: "love u lets talk"
So that night we talked. He apologized for the way he had been treating me and how everything that happened with his friend made him understand why his porn addiction hurt me and also how much he disliked others looking at me. He thought he could treat me better and said we should just recorded our own videos because he even deleted all his porn collection for me(lol ?). Of course it would have been more honest if he had just asked for videos, but I'd not have accepted then...
Nothing changed.
Honestly I wasn't surprised nor upset about the last manipulation act. But the last drop for me was when I heard him laughing at some bad things that happened the previous time he was deployed. I can't get into details but divorce was past due.
***"pfft ok Good luck making money doing that"***
**Thank you**
That's a wrap
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*So many things have happened the past few months that I wish I could tell you. I don't think it's safe if I do though. In the end what's in the past doesn't matter, right?! All we have is the Present potential to change our future. Deal with the cards given. What do you do when you feel you can't trust anyone anymore? You trust in yourself. But what if you want to just become someone else? Then who is that we are looking at? That is the self you want to become, screaming to come out. Embrace it and create your own hero.*
I wrote it somewhere in my diary pages one of those days.
I'd log on, ignore the chat and just keep my "Go Private" option turned on. A pre tip was required and all the rules were in my Profile. The tip bells interrupted the song:
***Mr.Santana tipped you 900 tokens and left a message: Hi Bella! let's go on Private?***
Before I accepted I made sure he had read my Profile. He said he just wanted me to watch. I was intrigued.
Mr.Santana was wearing a hat and had a guitar on his lap. He asked what song he should start with and I said.. **"Red Hot Chilli Peppers", and he played "By the way" beautifully while adding a bit of his own twist to the song. He also played some classics and gave me a free concert for about 30 minutes. It was lovely. Even though I could hear him well, he preferred to just communicate through typing. I believe English wasn't his first language.
***"Bella I have seen you since your first week in the website over a year ago and I have always enjoyed your company even though I was always a guest. I noticed you have been more quiet and serious since your return so I wanted to give you a night of music and relax and maybe smile if I made you happy. I hope you have a good night and thank you for everything"***
**"Awww =3"**
Clearly my "redpilled" phase didn't last very long.
I don't believe it was just luck but I managed to attract good supportive people at moments I didn't have it at all in real life. Many people still treated me with much empathy and respect even in a place where they were completely hidden behind a screen.
I let my guard down and this is when everything started to flow. Even my english started improving very fast and the chat would sometimes play word games with me.
For the first time in awhile I started feeling free. I didn't mind showing up while being topless anymore. So many other girls did too. Also, it was bringing a larger traffic into my room. The more the merrier.
The longer I stayed on, the more I met people that were nice to hang out with. Some just wanted a business transaction, some just wanted hang out, some wanted to be supportive and after years they are still here for me. ❤️
A few months later I stopped camming again to try different things but that is a whole another story... I returned in 2014
**October 2014**
***Ninja has tipped you 550 tokens and sent you a message: I guess I will be your first Acolyte***
I was thinking of ideas to spice up my chat dynamic. So I thought about making different clubs for people to join, and each club would have different perks. Acolyte was the first level. And Ninja was excited to move forward each step of the ladder.
***Ninja tipped you 100 tokens and sent you a message: Don't forget us when you are popular***
He said after getting the intermediary club level. Ninja had been very talkative and he mentioned he knew me since my first days also.
He was always present in my room and I appreciated how he was helping me go forward.
He moved up every club. The last one was "Grand Master" and the most personal. I would make an "ugly" drawing for the members and mail them/post it on my profile. The drawings were very very silly and went as far as my terrible drawing skills allowed. I hoped to get a laugh out of people and always tried to add an internal joke/reference for the tipper. Besides the drawing, I also granted Skype Shows and all my videos.
It came the day that Ninja and I had our first Skype. He just let me do my own thing and wasn't pushy. But for the second Skype session he warned me he had something to tell me. Fine by me.
I can't deny I was very curious and wondered about what he had to say during the entire Private.
I tried on all the outfits he wanted me to wear and did my thing.. He wanted to see me dancing, using lotion, some spanking, nothing too out of line. Towards the end I hear a buzz coming from my bed. I pick it up and there's a new unopened message:
***"Thanks for the show it was great"*** - It was from my ex-husband's number.
How ironic. I guess some really prefer to watch rather than touch :p
and The World Goes 'Round...
But this was around the last time we talked before growing apart for real. That didn't stop him from lurking in my room until a
2019 though
**Back to our normal transmission**
Hi everyone I didn't mean to disappear. I didn't even know t..
Hi everyone I didn't mean to disappear. I didn't even know today was already Friday. Bad fever. I finally wish I could eat something yummy but my throat says no. It's on fire...
Pray for me. I want to go live tomorrow. But I probably wont be able to talk too much. (: Next week we will have another ASMR week! Every 2nd week of the month!
Back on the road 💜 I've always despised any type of cardio ..
Back on the road 💜 I've always despised any type of cardio exercise... until I started riding a bike once I moved to Florida. It's by far the most toning cardio in my opinion and the best part of it is that no matter how hot the day is you feel breeeezy 🦋
2022-08-04 01:09:20 +0000 UTC View PostEnjoying a light show for the past 30 min! Slightly scared 😅..
Enjoying a light show for the past 30 min! Slightly scared 😅 how are you this Monday? I kept my camera on one spot but the entire sky is like that 🤯
2022-08-02 01:21:18 +0000 UTC View PostStream started at 08/01/2022 02:23 am
Stream started at 08/01/2022 02:23 am
2022-08-01 04:27:40 +0000 UTC View PostStream started at 08/01/2022 02:11 am
Stream started at 08/01/2022 02:11 am
2022-08-01 02:23:18 +0000 UTC View PostGetting that upper body workout in with Phone Lifting at the..
Getting that upper body workout in with Phone Lifting at the bathroom. Happy Saturday!!!
2022-07-31 00:45:36 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Friday!!!!!!!!! Back and forth pic in these scandalous..
Happy Friday!!!!!!!!! Back and forth pic in these scandalous gym pants that I'm in love with. Tip of the day: Get as much help as you need to push that work out! Even if it means illusionary wedgy pants... 😅
2022-07-29 17:22:37 +0000 UTC View Postwhoaaaa Such a good ASMR! New Pen trigger
whoaaaa Such a good ASMR! New Pen trigger
2022-07-25 05:10:12 +0000 UTC View PostStream started at 07/25/2022 02:06 am
Stream started at 07/25/2022 02:06 am
2022-07-25 04:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostFake it til you make it (: Getting ready to go live soon!!
Fake it til you make it (: Getting ready to go live soon!!
2022-07-25 00:36:25 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Saturday! I had to take a Lil break to charge my phone..
Happy Saturday! I had to take a Lil break to charge my phone in a random bathroom 🙈 and decided to give an update here. This week the gym schedule was a bit bad due to family visiting but let's go!! 💪💪 How is your day going? ❤️
2022-07-23 20:56:59 +0000 UTC View Post***CAMGIRL MEMOIR - BOUNDARIES Part 3*** *Note: Sometimes ..
***CAMGIRL MEMOIR - BOUNDARIES Part 3*** *Note: Sometimes I will tell stories that can be triggering, but I want you guys to know that all of this is long in the past now and don't hurt me anymore at all❤️ I'm telling just some of my personal stories that caused a turn of events in my life. I do believe everything that happens can be turned into good lessons and I hope these can be helpful/interesting to others* :) **2012** **Who are you? What does your identity consist of? Why do you hold the opinions that you do? The common understanding is that we are the result of a variety of things we have no control over. Genes, hormonal levels, culture, language and many other factors play a role on how we process what happens around us. But most definitely our experiences and memories, no matter how big or small, are the most influential over our identity construction. We are always learning and reshaping... Evolving as you will, thanks to the never-ending change of events around us.** I had been a lot more quiet since the way my husband shrugged what I had to say about the creepy doctor off. I wasn't quiet out of drama nor anger though, but because I was thinking deeply about everything I had lived up to that point. In a messed up way, I could understand where he was coming from since my claims couldn't be proved. It hadn't been the first time I had gone through sexual harassment at all. In fact I had already gone through much much worse before, and survived. Thanks to God I had been completely healed about that time in my late teens. But a tinge of resentment was growing in my heart once again. The truth is that my view on men had been declining for awhile. At that point nearly all the men (family and friends) I had once respected in my life had screwed up badly against me or another, and my husband wasn't helping the case at all. But I had not given up yet. He had been treating me better since I had stayed a month in Brazil. Missing your partner can do wonders for the relationship...also, he seemed to really like my new boobs. By this time around I was a few months out of my surgery and it was a success. I loved everything about it. The size, the shape, the way it still felt natural to the touch. I decided I wouldn't return to camming, and give another shot to try to recover my marriage and my life. We had some good moments and I believed he could change back to the man I thought he was and that he appeared to be in the beginning. And now that I was feeling more confident, maybe things could go forward. ~~~~~~ **"I love when you touch me like this.."** - I whispered during our once in a month encounter *( I dreamed of a daily sex marriage...)*. Then, I gently tried to soften his hand and show him the way I wanted to be handled. His hand, however, declined to play along with mine and remained firm. **"Hmpf"** - I squirmed in pain and tried to hide it. The way he was touching me was very painful - **"mm babe please touch me like this now"** - I insisted, trying to move his hand while I screamed inside. Of course I didn't want to be brutally honest as to not upset him. I wanted us to get closer and improve our intimacy somehow. ***"Will you shut up?"*** - he said in an irritated tone, looked firmly at me for a second and continued with short pauses: ***"Stop.telling me.what.to do!"*** I felt like I was 1 inch tall. **"I was just trying to show you how I wanted..." - I tried to calm him down. He groaned and started to touch me again even more aggressively. **"Ouch"** - I moved my body up to escape his touch. He insisted. **"It's hurting a litt..." - I said in a low voice and moved up again ***"WHATEVER NOW I'M SOFT. What's wrong with you?? This is your fault!"*** - He said as he got up and jumped out of bed putting his clothes back on. **"What? It was hurting me! What was I supposed to do? Endure it?"** - My voice was now loud and clear. ***"You should have said it in a different way. You fucking suck at communication."*** He stomped out of the bedroom and hit the door behind him. But of course we still ended up in an hour long of argumentation and frustration anyways... Ah! The heated love nest of a you.ng married couple *(that should never have married...)* I couldn't understand why no matter how careful I was with my words I still managed to p !ss him off. Maybe he was right and my English was just too bad... I felt the chaffing of his awful roleplay for a few days but eventually I "forgot"... I didn't believe he was trying to purposefully hurt me. But I do think he had severe internal issues at the time and didn't know how to deal with being criticized in that situation. (even though I wasn't using that type of tone). ~~~~ **a couple of months later** My husband had a childhood friend that he was still very close with. We will call him T. He was married, and his beautiful wife had birthed a sweet and smart baby girl that looked just like him. What a gift of joy to a father. When their baby was a bit past her 1st year of life, the wife got pregnant again. They invited us to a get together at their place and even though I still felt insecure to hold long conversations with my English, I thought they made a lovely family and tried to genuinely befriend them every time we visited. T was good company. A good friend overall. and his wife was nice as well but too busy with motherhood to focus on new friendships. As my husband's birthday approached, he decided he wanted to invite his friend to spend the night so they could have pizza, drinks and play videogames until very late. I deep cleaned the house and prepared the living room so they could enjoy their time together. They did invite me to play with them (we all played often on Steam), but I wanted to go to bed early. I closed my laptop, placed it on the living room table (where I usually left it charging) and went to the bedroom. My emotional was more tired than my body. Later, on that same week, T sent me a message on Steam: ***"hey b! whats up? you seemed kinda off last time I visited"*** I didn't want to talk to him about our personal issues but part of me really needed to know if this was my husband's real personality as he insisted, or if it was something else... The situation felt off but I didn't have absolutely anyone else to talk to. So I dared to ask: **"You know H (let's call husband=H) since he was a kid and you also witnessed him in his previous relationship.. Would you honestly say he treats me in a similar way as to how he treated her?"** ***"honestly, he treats you like shit.. sorry"*** His words made me feel shattered, but I can't say I was surprised. **"Thank you for the honesty :( I don't know if this can be fixed"** ***"well his ex broke his heart and let him down bad, but I know none of this is your fault and he really should treat you better."*** Once he said that I felt comfortable to share a little more of my feelings. For the first time I was actually talking to someone about my relationship and feeling heard. I didn't tell him details of our arguments and issues but I made clear of how unhappy and hopeless I was feeling. He was understanding and said he would try talking to my husband in a subtle way. **"Thank you for the talk.. how is wife and the baby?"** ***"everything is good.. just chilling and having a few beers..."*** ~~~~~~ **about 1 hour later...** ***"heeeeeeeey B? are you still there??"*** **"yeah"** ***"I think you should know that I really love your pictures!!!!! I was looking at them right now"*** **"What pictures?"** - I was so confused, but a chill of alert ran down my spine. Up to this point I had barely gone topless on MFC for a couple of times and I had 0 content for sale. My chatroom was tiny and unknown. Also, I had not even visited the site in months! He had NO idea. T was talking about something else... ***"The ones in your laptop///did you send him all those pics when he was deployed?//??/? H is fucking lucky"*** **"wtf??"** He was typing like when he was d.runk (H and him had this in common) and I couldn't believe what I was reading. ***"lol!!!!!! your password was too easy dork!!!!!!"*** **To be continued...**
2022-07-22 10:06:21 +0000 UTC View PostAll done for the day ✅️ Tá pago!! Now I want to play some..
All done for the day ✅️ Tá pago!! Now I want to play some video game on twitch and chill (: you can find me there as LivelyBella
2022-07-20 00:58:49 +0000 UTC View PostMotivation Monday, the best day to start your new workout ro..
Motivation Monday, the best day to start your new workout routine 💜 not procrastinating, just airing the pits 😅 That weak back and shoulders gotta go. Bring them muscles 💪 Have you exercised today already?
2022-07-19 01:04:20 +0000 UTC View PostThis is awesome! Thank you Sketch 😊
This is awesome! Thank you Sketch 😊
2022-07-18 07:32:55 +0000 UTC View PostStream started at 07/18/2022 04:18 am
Stream started at 07/18/2022 04:18 am
2022-07-18 05:36:31 +0000 UTC View PostStream started at 07/18/2022 01:08 am
Stream started at 07/18/2022 01:08 am
2022-07-18 04:11:08 +0000 UTC View PostHuh? What? Wow! I didn't even see you taking these pictures!..
Huh? What? Wow! I didn't even see you taking these pictures! Very natural, thank you! I'd like to announce that memoirs will be posted on Thursdays from now on because Throwback Thursdays are a thing. And also because Tuesdays have been much busier for me opposed to the end of the week! Stay tuned ❤️❤️❤️
2022-07-14 20:15:23 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Monday!!! Why post on Instagram if you have Onlyfans? ..
Happy Monday!!! Why post on Instagram if you have Onlyfans? 🤷🏻♀️💙 #gymmotivation
2022-07-12 03:23:48 +0000 UTC View PostI can't say this was exactly ASMR 😂 but here is the bedtime ..
I can't say this was exactly ASMR 😂 but here is the bedtime Sunday Stream
2022-07-11 07:26:09 +0000 UTC View PostStream started at 07/11/2022 02:17 am
Stream started at 07/11/2022 02:17 am
2022-07-11 02:24:36 +0000 UTC View PostNope.. not procrastinating 👀 just.. checking if the mirrors ..
Nope.. not procrastinating 👀 just.. checking if the mirrors are working. I will go live as soon as I get home (;
2022-07-10 22:31:40 +0000 UTC View PostStream started at 07/09/2022 02:54 am
Stream started at 07/09/2022 02:54 am
2022-07-09 05:38:08 +0000 UTC View PostMicrophone was off the first few min but then we fixed it (:
Microphone was off the first few min but then we fixed it (:
2022-07-08 05:11:10 +0000 UTC View PostStill functioning on Hawaii time zone I will be live in abou..
Still functioning on Hawaii time zone I will be live in about 1 hr and a half 😅
2022-07-08 02:04:22 +0000 UTC View Post